… naming or thinking about only one person would be an injustice to the numerous people who came in my life for only a brief moment, days, months or years.
Considering that I have been blessed with great, good, humble, arrogant, ambitious, pompous, cocky, intellects, simpletons… and the list goes on. Everyone has had a positive impact on me.
I believe there is always someting to take away from anyone and/or anything. Even in adversity, there is opportunity!
There are many quotes I love, like, live, believe, follow and practice but this one stands out to me as I think about how I have evolved and how I have started dealing with my life.
This also resonates with the concept of ‘impermance’ in the teachings of Buddhism; this is concept is also present in many other faiths/religious teachings (only referring to the ones I have experienced in some shape or form).
Our life as mortals has become so complicated that as we progress in life, we forget to take a pause; look behind and then look at where we are… everything has changed, even ourself; and the future, when it happens will be different from today!
It is another beautiful sunny day in Montreal, Canada today, however, the wind is making it a bit chilly. Thinking about the decisions I have made so far in life (since I could remember), gives me that comforting or discomforting chill!
It is hard for me to pin-point ONE decision, as all the decisions: good, bad, ugly, childish, angry, etcetra have all made me learn and grow. Since I have to talk about one decision for this prompt, I would say that the decision I took in 2005 to move to Dubai, UAE from Karachi, Pakistan was a life changer.
I consider myself to be a selfish person, and hence, I left my slowly aging parents and sister behind and took the leap of faith. I had to start from scratch from an entry level role to a mid-senior level role when I left Dubai in 2017. The period between 2005-2017 is where I was able to pay off all my and family’s debts in Pakistan, pay for my parents increasing medical bills, I was able to make a difference by making them travel outside of Pakistan, I was able to move them into a bigger and better appartment, safe and convenient locality, I was able to travel myself, etcetra, etcetra.
That one selfish decision has helped me in so many ways, I was able to overcome the loss of my parents during the same time, I am able to take on risks with faith in the Almighty and myself, I love my own company, I am content with what I have rather than think and cry about what I dont have. And if I transform my ‘Want’ into a ‘Need’, I try to find ways to finance it, rather than just pulling it out of my saving.
So that is it, now the next decision, I have made is to publish this and enjoy the sun!
Who in this world can claim that he/she/they/them have visited each part of this beautiful world we live in to pass the final judgement to never want to visit XYZ place.
Danger lurks everywhere, even when we think that we are in our safe abodes, we are not. It is our mindset.
Sadness in the world makes us appreciate the beauty and to yearn for betterment and happiness for all.
Mindless conflicts and killings make us realise the beauty and importance of each living being.
Challenges of a developing country makes us appreciate the comparable life in a developed country.
And this list could go on…
If I had a choice and means, I would prefer spending my life visiting wherever I can even the places in ruins and despair, I may be of some help but then that would make me realise how beautiful, abundant, happy my life is.
On the day of arrival, 13 March 24, after everyone had checked in, we had a light supper at 6pm which was a simple vegetarian soup. Followed by further instructions / orientation meeting at 7.15pm in the dining hall. Followed by complete silence i.e we began practicing ‘Noble Silence’ from there on for the next 10 days.
Thereafter the course began at 8pm in the meditation hall and finished at 9.30pm, we returned to our residential quarters and went to sleep.
For the next 10 days, following was our schedule:
4am wake up to the sound of a gong
4.30-6.30am meditate
6.30-7.15am breakfast
7.15-8am rest
8-11am meditate
11-12pm lunch
12-1pm rest
1-5pm meditate
5-5.30pm tea
5.30-6pm rest
6-9pm meditate
9.30pm retired to bed
Showers, bathroom usage were limited during the rest time or small gaps. There was no laundry so we had to have enough clothing on us for the time of the course.
In my life of 46 years, I have never been so regimental however, I always have been some what organised, learnt from my late father and I/we acknowledge that the structure had only benefits. All the participants had their own experience and learnings however for me these were:
Disconnected from the world with no phone or internet connection and no human interaction, we were just living in our own world knowing there are people around but everyone went about living their own lives. All the information overload we have which keeps us distracted in our day to day lives is nothing but noise and it is definitely under our control to switch off this continous bombardment of notifications, checking our phone every two minutes, checking spam emails, talking about meaningless stuff.
Living with minimal to no stuff, made me realise that our life is so simple however we have made it so complicated with our never stopping urge and want to own everything. Even if we don’t really need things, we just want to have it, when one can actually live normally with the bare minimum.
Having shower without using any soap or body wash (this was my own way of living like people who only had the river to wash themselves with without any toiletries).
Importance of getting up early. After returning from the course I have made three main changes to my life (i) I don’t go to bed with my phone (ii) only access the phone after I have had breakfast (iii) getting up at 6am and meditate for an hour. Only these 3 things have given me a whole new perspective of the day and I did that on the weekend also.
I sleep well and I get up rested. Because I have to get up at 6am, I sleep early without burning the midnight oil.
I have a full long day ahead to take the advantage of. Imaging waking up at 11am on a weekend, half of the day is already gone.
Having a mindful breakfast, where I enjoy the butter or jam toast and black tea, while looking outside our window at the trees and other surroundings vs. scrolling the phone mindlessly and gulping the breakfast.
We can meditate with our eyes open, sitting as we like (not necessarily in the lotus position), walking. Appreciating our surroundings and people around us. Feeling my breath and the many sensations of the happenings in and around us which impact us.
The way I look at things, problems, issues – all have come down to one thing, ‘impermance’. Everything will change.
The excitement we feel by having a new thing or anything is ‘impermanent’. The joy fades away after sometime replaced by the need to buy something new to give us the same excitement and joy.
Today is the birth of tomorrow, so it is important to give birth today for good things, good feelings, happiness, compassion, kindness, etcetra so tomorrow will automatically follow suit.
As soon as we are born, we start running towards our death. While running we forget that when we came into this world, we had nothing and when we will die, we will have nothing. Which made me think, what am I going to do with all the stuff I have gathered so far.
Our nature of clinging on to people and things. These attachments have no meaning.
Immediately after we had given away our phones, I felt like I have now died and I am in another world, I had nothing to do with the world I was in. I thought about my wife and my sister for a bit and said to myself ‘they will manage’. I need to continue. This also made me recount all the arrangements I have in place for them and I started assessing if I had missed anything and then I realised that yes I have. Even now if I fix all this, I know I will miss somethings and they will manage after me but the biggest learning I have is, that I have come back to this world and I have a 2nd chance. I can take advantage of the remaining time I have in this life until its time for me to transit to another life.
I am sure I have not done justice in explaining the many benefits of attending this course and others will have their own experiences, there are no comparisons, everyone lives their own journey.
I have all the intent to go back and attend another session, when that I don’t know and will I be able to hold it for another 10 days! Only time will tell.
Recently I quit my job (31 Jan’24), this was the company I worked for for the last 15 years, the longest in my 30+ years career at the age of 46-47.
Little did i realise my life became my job and I defined myself as my job. When anyone asked me ‘what do you do?’ my answer was my job description. I have no regrets. I was living the values. But things change!
Since moving to Canada, I wanted return to the same organisation and joined their Canada operations, under the North America region, I felt there was a dramatic shift. There is such a huge cultural and professional difference as compared to my experiences within the same organisation in the Middle East and Asia Pacific. It did not feel that I was working for the same organisation. I was no more adding VALUE to myself or the organisation. I was just working! Paycheck maybe. So after 2 years in the Canada office, i decided it is time for me to close the chapter.
I don’t have a job at present and I am not looking for one either (for now). It’s like when you finish a book which you are so much into and suddenly its over, you don’t know what genre or what book to pick. So I am just wandering these days between writing, reading and exploring what the city, province and country I have chosen to live has to offer and I must say I am loving it.
But the best is that I sleep well without dreaming about spreadsheets and looming deadlines, I wake up looking forward to the new day!
The tide recedes but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers on the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains…
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
– Anonymous
Note: I came across these lines while reading the obituary section in a newspaper, and it made me feel grateful for the people who have been part of my life and are no more.
Colors are changing with changing time Mirror too reflects my changed self Seeing a tiring person seeking rest Rest I don’t intend to take Time seems more valuable than anything How much is left cannot ascertain It seems coming soon When it will only be rest
‘No man can part with either the past or the future. For how can a man be deprived of what he does not possess? For it is but the present that a man can be deprived of…’
Excerpt from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
When I was a child and was slightly innocent, I always used to think that on 1st January something magical would happen, everything would be or feel new. People will feel different, it will be fresh beginnings for many people and things.
Well, reality check, nothing materialized, and I thought, hmm, everything is the same. It’s the same as yesterday or before. It took years for me to come to the realization that it’s a mere reset for another 365 days. Like the 24 hours each day, a new day begins at 12 midnight and another 24 hours are ahead of us.
But what we do with our time is what matters. What we do with the moment we are present in i.e. NOW.
For example, I chose to write this essay for myself now. While it took me some time to complete and share it with like minded or not so like-minded people, but this is what I choose now.
Many of us are guilty of making new year resolutions only to break them or forget about them on 1st January itself (me included).
Have I ever made a new day’s resolution i.e. before every midnight, each day, did I make resolution for tomorrow? Hardly remember any but yes, I remember coming up with a list for each new year. I ask myself why?
Because I have never ever lived each day. Instead, I have lived each day either in the past or in the future but never in the present. Being mindful of what I am doing, rather than what I did or will do.
Hence, I begin with small changes from TODAY i.e. 31 December 2023.
Tomorrow is another day, next year is another 365 days…
as I view it 